From September 7, 2011

It's an odd feeling, feeling empty. Yesterday was one of the days I felt that to the fullest. I was out doing my job, but I wasn't selling anything. In fact, I felt more like a shell doing a daily routine. There was - though it's more like "is" - a sense of loss, being lost, being ashamed. Many people say that no one can complete you, but I don't know if I agree with that necessarily. If that were the case, what would be the point of falling in love? What would be the point of fighting for the one you want to spend the rest of your life with? The soul lets you know when something or someone is missing. It's letting me know right now.
Something in my heart tells me we will be together again, Brittany. Of course, I have my fears that we won't. That you will be the doting mother of someone else's children. That you will be the beautiful wife of another man. I cannot except that (as) our future. I just can't. You have my heart, and I will fight for years if I have to. The fighting and the pain is worth it if it means I can be with the woman I adore. I made a terrible mistake, and all I want to do is show that that really isn't me.